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Wedding Fail

2 Aug

Most women dream and fantasize about their wedding day down to the last details. I highly doubt that this anonymous bride in Cleveland, OH dreamed that her special day would have ever turned out this way.

According to the report, the Cleveland police received a call for an “intoxicated male being belligerent at the St. Joseph Byzantine Catholic Church activity center.” When they arrived on the scene, they were directed to the groom who was beyond hammered.

A few witnesses stated that “the groom was drinking and became belligerent and also provoked a fight with his stepson. Another man intervened and the groom got into a fight with him as well.” Wow, hold up! Did he not get the memo? First of all, you’re only supposed to get hammered at OTHER people’s weddings. Never your own! How the hell are you supposed to make sweet sweet love together for the first time as husband and wife when your dick is as unresponsive as a DMV worker?

Second, starting fights at your own wedding, and more importantly with your soon-to-be stepson?! What a great way to start off the new father-son relationship! I wouldn’t be surprised if the kid started the fight himself simply in protest of possibly ever having to call this sloppy Red Flag his dad. Looks like the bride got a great preview of what marriage is going to be like

Eventually the groom was arrested and taken to jail where he “passed out in his cell, soiled himself and was charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated.” Wow!

We’ve all had mornings where we wake up with shameful regrets about the night before, however never have the words “I fucked up last night” ever been more appropriate. They say you never forget your wedding, and while this man may never completely remember it, he certainly made the night truly unforgettable.

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