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Twilight: It’s More Than Just A Terrible Movie

23 Nov

twilight moms

Witnessing the recent craziness that surrounds every new Twilight movie release reminded me once again that nobody is safe. If you thought the only people who liked Twilight were 13 year old teeny boppers, think again.

Twilight fans come in all ages, genders, species, shapes, and sizes. Just wait…right when you thought your second date was going so well you’ll drive past a Twilight billboard and they’ll start going ape shit that’ll raise more than an eyebrow. It could happen to anybody. They’re everywhere.

Yup, I wasn’t kidding. I’m going to go out on a giant limb and bet that every one of these “Twilight moms” are single moms. Any takers? Half of them look ecstatic while the other half look horrified…must be a Team Edward vs. Team Jacob thing…either way, these are some dangerously emotional cougars.

Twilight tattoo

...and this Red Flag is permanent.

Wow, lets count the Red Flags here shall we:
#1. The MySpace Mirror shot…Oh yeah…we noticed.

#2. Topless pose… She obviously knows her “good side” because she’s working that angle well. It’s really accentuating her features.

#3. Weird cat portrait…I’m guessing that is the late great Chester…the oldest of her 15 house cats.

#4. Red Flag tattoo…Now this one may take a little while to spot as it’s very subtle but if you look closely enough you can clearly see that this woman is fucking insane…I feel bad for the suckers who don’t realize their mistake until they hit the sack doggy style…

#5. Buttcrack

The scary thing here is that all these ladies below look relatively normal.

CreepyTwilightThemedBedrooms

Is it even possible to fuck in this bedroom?

Twilight bedrooms

Surprise!!!

Other than accidentally being called Edward or Jacob a few times you could be totally unaware of her obsession. Once you recover from the shell-shock, my advice is, unless you’re down with vampire play, is to fucking RUN!

What do you think?

team edward

Edward still looks great with his face stretched out...

team edward

Guys do it too...

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