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The Single Married Girl

9 Aug

Single girls that wear anything resembling an engagement ring on the “I’m taken” finger run the risk of scaring good guys away.

I’m completely for marriage; I find it very humbling whenever a friend of mine seals the deal with his lady, as long as she’s not a whore. What I’m not fine with is the SINGLE girl purposely wearing a ring resembling an engagement/wedding ring on the corresponding finger when she is not married or engaged. Red Flag.

First of all, consider the type of guy this is going to attract. The guy that is attracted to a girl flaunting her marital status is a Red Flag himself. Going for the potentially married woman is pretty fucking shady.

This guy is looking for a no strings attached one night-stand. Perhaps to be a home wrecker for shits and giggles? Nothing real and nothing genuine. Just to add another notch to his belt.

So why do single girls do this?

Does she not respect marriage? Mocking the idea of two people committing to each other through marriage just doesn’t make sense. Does she not believe in marriage? Perhaps her parents are divorced, causing her to disbelieve in the meaning of marriage and her definition of love doesn’t include marriage.

I have encountered this Red Flag before and the only way I see it as a useful tool is:

“Oh, I’m not really married; I just wear this ring to clubs because I’m tired of douchey guys bothering me. I just show them the ring and don’t have to talk to them. Unless I think he’s cute, then I’ll tell him it’s a gift from my Grandmother and it only fits on this finger!”

That’s the best answer I have heard and in this case, it makes sense. She just doesn’t want guys hitting on her everywhere she goes.

To the girls that do this however… remember one thing. You may miss out on meeting a nice guy and a potential for a solid relationship. Most guys will NEVER assume the above reason is why you’re wearing a wedding ring. A nice guy will not look twice at a girl when she is rocking anything that resembles a wedding or engagement ring on her left hand…it’s like fucking Kryptonite to us. We WILL look right past you, no matter how hot you are, and b-line straight for your slutty, ring-free bestie.

I also had a girl who I had been on two dates with take a ring I was wearing and put it on her finger (Red Flag) and when we were apart she would take a picture of the ring on her finger and send the pic to me saying, “I’ve been wearing it all day!” Aww, it’s kinda cute… but shit, only if we have been dating for a month or more! The fact is this scares guys away.

This reveals to me a few things; she has control issues. ‘He’s mine now!’ Way too strong of a symbol too fast in a relationship only two dates old. Stage-5 clinger. And I actually liked that ring and she didn’t even earn to wear. So I just made a mental red flag note and continued with caution knowing more about her.

A strong point to consider, is that girls wear rings on their ring finger to make them feel a part of a relationship before it becomes one. In doing so they also reveal an insecurity issue. The need to have a tangible commitment representing something more than what is actually there. Certainly it’s a comforting reminder of the person you’re interested in. Just not so soon!

The bottom line is this; the dating and marriage thing just shouldn’t be so complicated. I see no real valid reason to imitate something as serious as marriage.

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5 Responses to “The Single Married Girl”

  1. Jocelyn 08/18/2011 at 12:11 AM #

    Not gonna lie, I wear a ring on my left finger.

    HOWEVER.

    And I may get made fun of for this, but whatever, go ahead.

    The ring says “love waits” …..as in no sex before marriage.

    Yup.

    That’s right.

    I decided to make this change after my first serious boyfriend (personal reasons). And some people may say it’s unfair to any other guy I will date in the future… but the right guy will understand.

    … right? :)

    • Minor 08/18/2011 at 12:33 AM #

      Hey Jocelyn, you rock! Thank you for your continued support and for being real. I respect your reason behind wearing a ring on your left hand. Just as marriage; the ring represents a commitment, a promise and a reminder to what you believe in. More power to you!

      What have been some guys reactions when and if you tell them that?

      Just keep in mind a guy at first glance will see the ring as ‘taken’. So almost a catch-22?
      Best, Minor

      • Jocelyn 08/18/2011 at 7:02 PM #

        Minor,

        Thanks! I appreciate that a lot. Well, it depends. Some guys kind of scoff, as in “..really? wow. that’s dumb.” or i get the standard loud “WHY?!” Other guys are interested to even know if I’ve had sex EVER. To me, that’s sketchy. It’s like they decide their next move on that answer alone.

        The ring doesn’t look like an engagement ring at all, but to be honest, sometimes when I see a good looking guy I’ll change the ring behind my back to my right finger (this is rare). I’m still holding on to the promise I made to myself, but I am aware that having a ring on that finger might shoo a guy away.

        I’m kind of playing with what wearing a ring can do. You’d be surprised at what I’ve observed!

        • Minor 08/22/2011 at 1:14 PM #

          I bet. It does leave the door open to a lot of interesting reactions. No worries I get it ;) and if it wasn’t something very important to you, you wouldn’t put yourself through the nonsense some guys give you. It’s a red flag experiment! Which I do all the time!
          -M

  2. Chris 02/14/2012 at 9:52 AM #

    This was somewhat redundant when you consider that most girls are NOT looking for a nice guy. So the purpose of wearing a fake wedding ring actually works as designed. Nice guys are respectful and will not hit on a “married” girl. They’re actually, attracting the jerks who are looking for the challenge of a one night stand with a married girl.

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