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Step Away From The Facebook…Thanks.

13 May

Due to the popularity of my most recent Facebook article, I figured I’d give a little more love to our favorite social network. This time I will concentrate on status updates.

Might as well get right into it. Here are a few of my favorite annoying status updates that I’ve seen these past few weeks:

Annoying Status #1: “Ok I’m NOT the [name removed so we don't get sued] that was Miss California in 199_ she’s like 30 now!!! Ugh! So many annoying confussions!!!”

Right. Cause EVERYONE sooo thinks that! Please get over yourself. Red Flag – Insecurity?

Could’ve just said: “Its so funny when people confuse me…” … Actually… NO. Just stay away from the keyboard…and Facebook. Thanks.

Annoying Status #2: “You’re always gonna have haters and people speaking badly not knowing you, you must raise above it and know their hate comes from their own insecurities and self hatred. When you hate someone you hate yourself, you are jealous of that person, OR you’re intimidated by them…True stuff”

Preach On! What are you trying to prove to yourself? Keep the drama to yourself please! We don’t care.

Could’ve just said: …Hmm, just keep it between you and whoever you’re having drama with.

Annoying Status #3: “Ugh what a day!! Such a bad time for the strap on my pos Louie Vuitton purse to break!!!”

Hmm, it couldn’t just be your POS PURSE? Did it really have to be your POS Louis Vuitton purse? You are rich…We get it! Get over yourself.

Could’ve just said: “What horrible luck to have my pos purse to break!”

Annoying Status #4: “My boyfriend spoils me! <3 Getting everything ready for my Gucci Themed Birthday party! Excited!!!!!”

This is annoying for obvious reasons. Red Flag – Obnoxiously Proud Girlfriend (See #2)

Could’ve just said: “Excited for my birthday!!!”

Annoying Status #5: “Happy 5th year anniversary of me getting my job and there was something else going on today… I dunno, I’ll get high and think about that one.” (Posted on 4/20)

WOW. Umm, “Earth to shit for brains…Shit for brains, come in.” You just announced to everyone that you will be doing illegal drugs! Nice!

Could’ve just said: “Today is 4/20… you know what that means!” (at least leave some mystery to it)

Annoying Status #6: “Ok I’m back from Vegas people! I’ll actually answer my phone now!”

Are you implying that you received a ton of calls or something during your weekend getaway and were doing something so exciting and important that you couldn’t answer your friends or call them back? What exactly is your intention here Mr. Popular? Red Flag – “I’m Kind Of A Big Deal!”

Could’ve just said: “Back from Vegas!”

That’s all I have for now. I’m getting annoyed all over again revisiting these, so that’s it for me. And people, I KNOW you see these annoying statuses every single day. SHARE THEM WITH US!

Minor, out.

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