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Sex Talk – Red Flag

15 Nov

Another great guest post… This one by Debbie from

Does Your Date Only Talk About Sex?

I have had my share of good dates whom I met through various dating services. But I have also had plenty of the “roll-my-eyes, get-me-out-of-here” type of dates as well. I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt, particularly when it comes to meeting men through dating services, but I have found that when I trust my instincts and spot the Red Flags, it’s better to listen to my gut and avoid this type of situation at all costs.

Here is one example of a date I should never have agreed to…

It was with a man I met him through one of the dating services and at first glance, not only did his profile seem in order; it also appeared that we had a lot in common. We had grown up in the same part of the country, worked in the same industry, and seemed to have compatible interests in food, outdoor activities, film and music. Sounds good so far, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought too.

We exchanged a handful of emails and finally got the opportunity to speak on the phone. In less than 5 minutes of talking, he was asking me what my bra size was.

I am not one who is easily shocked, but this question certainly took me by surprise. Up until now there was no indication that this man was only interested in such things. But apparently, that was all he was interested in. He then proceeded to ask me what my favorite type of panties were and when I dodged all these questions with humor, he asked me why I was avoiding the topic at hand? I asked him if that was all he wanted to talk about, and he said, in a word, yes.

Here’s my dumb admission. I met with him in person anyway. Why you may ask? It’s certainly a valid question and to this date I’m not sure I have the answer. Like I said, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe I thought he had some redeemable characteristics somewhere inside of him. I went back over his online profile and several of our email conversations and there was never any hint of these types of questions. So I met with him and the in-person date was worse than the phone conversation. Every time I tried to sway the conversation into something a little substantial, he was swinging it back around to asking what my favorite sexual positions were and how many men had I slept with. It was ridiculous.

So after giving him multiple opportunities to redeem himself, and realizing he never would, I excused myself from the date and got out of there as quickly as possible.

Look, if you’re someone who is only interested in making a sexual connection with someone, that’s up to you. Everyone has their own agenda when it comes to dating online. But if you’re looking for something a bit more meaningful and long-lasting, you may want to skip the date with the guy who only wants to talk about your breasts and butt. Trust me; it’s not as flattering as it might sound.

Debbie Lamedman is sought after by friends and strangers alike for her dating advice, you can find more of her stories on her blog, Dating Services!

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