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Romantic Clichés

19 Oct

Bored catGuest post by one of our contributing writers…

Flowers, candlelight, love letters, dinner and a movie…

For some this may seem lovely and romantic. For me this is a Red Flag. A big boring Red Flag.

I will never forget the first bouquet of roses I received from my high school boyfriend. I was ecstatic. How thoughtful! How sweet! How cinematic! I felt just like every woman who has ever been wooed. I was a part of the cool girl club.

But then after the third and fourth bouquet of roses in my life, I realized that I didn’t even like roses. I liked the idea of society’s definition of what roses meant; love and affection. Turns out I prefer all sorts of flowers but no one had ever asked me which I liked. And herein lies the issue: It’s not about removing the idea of a romantic gesture, but rather upgrading it and making it personal for that special someone. No one wants cookie cutter romance. (Unless there are actual cookies involved, then I’m in).

I’m not saying to head for the hills if they play La Vie en Rose while serving you breakfast in bed. Just be wary when the romantic clichés start to accumulate without much variation. You may find yourself with a big boring mess on your hands, along with other concerns:

This person is lazy. Lazy enough to not put much effort into making you feel special. They may seem sweet. But there’s a difference between sweet and thoughtful. A box of chocolates? That’s not thoughtful, that’s last minute.

They may lack a grasp on reality. Clearly they’ve seen The Princess Bride too much. Life has more dimensions than farcical romantic plot twists and extravagant romantic gestures. Romance is specific and can’t be applied from person to person.

Good luck getting this person to do anything spontaneous. They’ll only be interested in recreating every other couple’s kissy Facebook profile picture or having a date night at the Cheesecake Factory.

Get ready for a whole lot of boring with a side of predictable. On dates, in conversation, and not to mention in bed. All this person has learned from is movies and television. And we all know they pan up and the focus gets blurry when things start to heat up on the screen…Good luck with that.

Your significant other may not be thinking outside of the box because they aren’t actually CAPABLE of thinking outside the box. Albert Einstein once said that “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination”, and in the case of romance, this couldn’t be more true. A lack of creativity may be a sure sign that there isn’t much going on upstairs. Don’t waste your time on dummies. It ain’t worth it.

Look guys, I’m just trying to raise your standards a bit. Go and make your own romance, you know what feels right. But if things start to get stale when your significant other starts reciting poetry to you while they’re crying, don’t look at me. You’ve been warned.

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