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Red Flag Analysis

25 Jan

It is always best to make mental notes of Red Flags and give yourself time to examine and weigh them before making any major decisions about your relationship. You may choose to handle things differently, according to what you decide is the caliber of the Red Flag at hand. First, take time to yourself to really examine the situation and the way you feel.

If you don’t come to a clear conclusion on your own, it is okay to discuss the Red Flag with friends and/or family that you truly trust, as long as you don’t violate the privacy, respect and/or trust of your partner in doing so.

Sometimes you may need to use the people who know you best to help you decide if your partner’s Red Flag is something that you would be able to deal with, or if it is truly a cause for concern and the potential ignition switch for an explosion of problems in the future.

Then there is the matter of discussing the Red Flag issue with your significant other. Of course, you may choose to discuss the issue as soon as it arises in the relationship so you can get your partner’s insight on the issue. You might find that he or she is not aware that the issue you have flagged is a problem.

Please note; if your partner is completely oblivious that he or she may have an issue, this could be another Red Flag altogether. Denial or an unwillingness to discuss or work on something that their partner has a problem with is a Red Flag. This can show a lack of care or respect of your feelings and an inability to “meet in the middle” when troubles arise.

After you have taken time to examine the Red Flag and talk it over with your partner you will be presented with your choices. You can either decide that the issue you initially flagged is really not as damaging as you first thought, or you and your partner can decide to work together to make it past the issue at hand. Or, if you decide the issue is something you simply can’t accept, you can decide to cut the Red Flag dead weight and move on.

In short, you must identify the Red Flag, reflect on your feelings of it and, finally, make a choice to accept and look past the flag or quickly end the relationship and move on. If you cannot handle the flag, DO NOT try to “stick it out”; the issue will not simply disappear and if it’s something you can’t accept then it will always present a problem in your relationship.

Love yallz…

-M

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