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It’s Not Me, It’s You: Personality Red Flags

30 Apr

I present a few of my Top Personality Red Flags. Some will hit home for you. I feel your pain. Hopefully most of these can be avoided. Then again, probably not. I am certain you will come across people that exhibit these behaviors at least once in that search for someone special. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

dating red flags#1 Being a Flake

No one enjoys setting up plans with someone only to have that person cancel last minute. Flaking is a big Red Flag, especially when dating and trying to build a relationship.

Flakes attempt to please multiple people by committing to too many engagements knowing it is not physically possible for them to be at multiple places at once. They have no intentions of following up with their promises and in the end, they flake, and hurt people who were counting on them.

Actions speak louder than words. Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t be a flake!

#2 How your partner treats their family is how they will treat you

Hands down, this is one of the most important Red Flags to observe. An important relationship advice is to look at how your partner treats their parents. Do they speak to them with respect? Do they offer to help their family when in need? Do they do nice things for their parents “just because?” Do they tell them ‘I love you’ or express how important they are to them? Do they speak highly of their family to you or do they put them down? Are they able to show their family affection?

Red Flag the person who does not treat their family with kindness and love. That’s a direct reflection of how they may treat you in the future.

Sure, exceptions to this rule run far and wide. If the relationship between parent and child has been an up hill battle their entire life, they might have good cause for how their relationship is and how they treat each other. Then again, that brings up an entirely new concern and Red Flag; Mommy/Daddy issues. (Read more on this Red Flag here…)

dating red flags#3 Does not have their own phone with plan

I CANNOT stress this enough! IMPORTANT!!! Do not add any girl/guy to your own phone plan! Once your little romance goes up in flames, you MAY be FUCKED!

Dealing with contract cancellation fees, and the changing of phone numbers is one thing. The debt you owe to the service provider when your demon slut ex decides to add ten phone numbers and buy six phones/netbooks in your name without you knowing, is completely another. You’re responsible for all payments. YOU ARE FUCKED!!!

Don’t become a victim of this should-be-punishable-by-death crime. You will live a longer and healthier life!

#4 Sending mixed signals

Dealing with mixed signals, whether in dating or new relationships, just plain sucks. Mixed signals are hard on both parties; the party sending the signals and the party receiving them. Sometimes people send out mixed signals unintentionally.

They feel good at one point in time about someone and say something a little too inviting, too revealing, too promising, leaving the other person with false hope.

On the other end, the receiver of these signals will over analyze and/or think too hard about what they are being presented. This can drive someone crazy and get mixed up in what is really going on.

Dating red flags#5 Doesn’t dress well and lacks “style”

Sometimes it’s as simple as the couple just doesn’t look good together. Mutual attraction is very important, and personal style is a huge part of being attracted to someone. Finding out your mate lacks style, can be a real turn off…and a Red Flag.

Some couples create a strong connection through dressing each other and feeding off each other’s style. For me, going out on the town with a lady looking irresistible just makes our connection stronger. We feed off of each other’s swagger and no one else matters. When you look good, you feel good, and are giving off positive vibes. These are all great things in a relationship.

Believe it or not guys, women love a man that enjoys shopping (once in awhile) and looking good (always!)

#6 Not owning a car.

Good Lord the drama caused by this! The continuous borrowing of one’s car gets old really fast. Such an inconvenience!

From my own experience, having my ex girlfriend use my ride daily was not healthy. The extra gas, the wear and tear on the vehicle (because she couldn’t drive for shit!), and the parking tickets! The funny part is, why WOULD she care what happened to my ride…it’s in MY name anyways.

Ok that doesn’t apply to everyone. But how can anyone without a car hold a steady job or get anything done on their own?

Ask yourself these questions:
1.  Does your partner respect you?
2.  Does your partner respect your property?
3.  Are they responsible?
4.  Are they lazy and/or incompetent?
5. Are they helpless?
6.  Are they looking for an easy way out?
7.  Do they have low standards?
8.  Do they settle and lack motivation?
9.  Maybe all of the above? Is that why they don’t have their own car in the first place?

Sure we think we are helping them and doing the right thing, but really we are enabling them to take advantage of us.

When we find ourselves bending over backwards to help those we love and care about and all we get in return are migraines and drama…Red Flag! Rethink your actions, and make moves that make your world a happier one to live in.

#7 Never on time

Usually only gets worse as time goes on, so put a stop to the ass-laggin as soon as you can. Shows poor judgment of time and procrastination.

dating red flags#8 Too deep of an attachment and obsession with pets

If your mate’s dog/cat/bunny/piranha/etc rank numero uno over you…Red Flag. You know, the people that think their pet is human, and every picture they take of their pet ends up on Facebook. Yeah, Red Flag!

#9 Saying sorry too much

I’ve been noticing more and more people saying ‘sorry’ to me. You’re sorry for what? Don’t be sorry! People don’t realize it, but they say ‘sorry’ and apologize for unnecessary things. For the silly and quirky things they sometimes do for example. What!? No. You don’t have to apologize for being real and being you. Be sure of yourself, be confident!

Someone recently said sorry to me for liking Karaoke. Instead, how about just being real, “Yeah I like to sing cover songs in front of strangers! I enjoy it! And if you think I’m weird, then Fuck You!”

Apologizing for things all the time shows insecurity and low self esteem, and that is a Red Flag.

Sometime they don’t even realize that they’re saying it. Somehow we have gotten soft in our social communication world. Everyone is sorry for liking someone/something, having hobbies, dressing the way they want, talking the way they want, expressing themselves, etc.

Understand when you should be sorry. Don’t be sorry for being yourself.

#10 Not paying attention to you

Does your partner space out every time you’re trying to have a conversation with them? If so, Red Flag. If he or she is not that into your work day, your hobbies, your friends, etc, then they are just not that into you. Sorry.

This is definitely a sign that physical attraction may outweigh the intellectual and emotional connection in the relationship. Both parties can be guilty of this. Perhaps your mate is just not that smart and interesting to have a good conversation with, but you stick with them because they are attractive. Or perhaps he/she doesn’t care or respect you enough to pay attention to you, but stick around due to your good looks. Either way, this is a Red Flag that your relationship is missing that intellectual connection and this issue needs to be examined further.

And that is all I have to say about that…for now.

What personality Red Flags have YOU come across? SUBMIT THEM HERE!

-M

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2 Responses to “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Personality Red Flags”

  1. cybermagnetik 05/22/2011 at 9:04 PM #

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  2. Rodger Toop 07/18/2011 at 2:11 AM #

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