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I Was Born This Way

19 Nov

Ladies, there are some Red Flags that you try to assign men that just aren’t fair. Lady Gaga said it best, “I was born this way.” Though they may be legitimate annoyances to you, please understand that some of man’s greatest flaws are engrained in their genetic coding.

Mother Nature sets men and women apart in many ways and gave men a natural love of things that women typically find repulsive. Men love a good poop story and could laugh for hours about pulling off a great public fart; we’re sorry but it’s just funny. Just like our obsession with the female body, we have an obsession with one of our own body parts that you most likely find disturbing and repulsive…a guys obsession with his dick. Red Flag accordingly please.

You can’t Red Flag a man for loving his dick. It’s just natural for a man to love his mini-me. But you can and should Red Flag a man for how and where he uses it.

If you hear your man is the one always pulling out his wang in front of friends, strangers and so on…Red Flag. If your man comes with a history of stories from childhood sleepovers or his college dorm years that include his ritual tea-bagging of friends…Red Flag. Definitely Red Flag the moron who prefers to use his penis for practical jokes and pissing contests. The man whore Red Flag is the most important of all.

Guys, all future girlfriends will want to know the history of their man’s baby maker and where it’ been, so don’t give you and your dick a Red Flag record that may haunt you forever. Herpes are forever, and so is the Red Flag that goes with it.

It is perfectly healthy and okay for a man to share this obsession with the woman he’s in a relationship with. And ladies, if you cant beat’em, join’em! It’ll make for great pillow talk. Once a couple updates their Facebook status to ‘In A Relationship’ the girl owns the guy’s reproductive organs anyway.

All joking aside; I strongly support safe sex, abstinence, taking responsibility for your actions, and knowing your dick’s power. I will be writing an entire post about the topic of all things sex…Stay tuned.

-M

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