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Red Flag – “I Dated A Celebrity”

31 Aug

Guest post by contributing writer Holly Sidell who is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, and believes that dating only sucks if we let it suck.

I had a date the other night…. Was going well… Vibing, flirting, enjoying each other’s company. A group of celebrities came into the bar. Energy shifts around celebrities; it’s unavoidable… and then stories about the celebrities come up.

The guy I was with mentioned a famous name a few times in rehashing stories. Turned out it was a guy I went out with a few times way back in my Hollywood clubbing days. I had a split second decision to make. Do I tell my date or let it go?

I mean, really, now looking back, in the moment I thought my decision was based solely on how it was going to feed his ego – would it make him feel good about himself that he’s on a date with someone who dated a celebrity he respects? Or would it hurt his ego and make him feel insecure?

But really, it was about my ego. What would the point be in telling him – Did I need him to know how desirable I am? Was I not feeling wanted enough by him, so I had to let him know that a famous guy wanted me once? Shit…I totally Red-Flagged myself!

Trying to prove to this guy how many other guys wanted me in the past is a Red Flag. Lots of girls play this game. We think that by flirting with other guys in front of our date or boyfriend will make them want us more. We tell stories about all these other guys that have wanted us before to make them see how lucky they are to be with us. Really, all it does is turn them off. Really, it’s coming from our own place of insecurity.

The guy I was with completely shut down after I told him. The awesome energy between us shifted. The vibe went away. Damn. My bad. Lesson learned. I can’t take it back now, but I can share this experience with you so hopefully you will choose differently in that split second. So that hopefully you won’t play those jealousy games which are huge Red Flags… all you’re doing is calling attention to your insecurities by doing it. Not sexy.

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