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Craigslist: Missed Connections (EPIC FAIL Part 2)

18 Aug

CreeperI have come across Craigslist dating. The most interesting, as well as most pathetic aspect of CL dating has to be the “Missed Connections” section. Basically in this section people post ads claiming that some type of “connection” was made with someone else, yet no actual contact/meeting ever took place. A glance exchange at Starbucks, a smile at the gym, a potential eye-fuck at the store, etc. Then these poor souls hope and pray that the person who they had this “connection” with, sees their ad and responds to them.

I know…but keep reading.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that this section definitely serves more entertainment value (for you and I), than delivering actual results. 99% of these ads were posted by men. They let opportunity pass them by and now feel that a serendipitous Craigslist ad will redeem their failure to make a move when the opportunity presented itself in real time.

Here are some ACTUAL ads I found in the Craigslist “Missed Connections” section…Enjoy.

Actual CL Ad #1:

Beautiful thighs – m4w – 24 (Stoner Tennis Courts):

I like the way you looked at me and looked at me again. You have the most beautiful thighs I have ever seen! Send a picture to verify who you are. Peace.

Spoken like a true champ. Stoner Tennis Court eh? I’m sure this Red Flag fool got plenty of pictures. None of which were the girl who has the most beautiful thighs he’d ever seen.

Actual CL Ad #2:

Chick on YELLOW SPORT Bike in CARPOOL LANE – m4w – 27 (405 N):

That’s pretty much it, I saw you, you definitely saw me. You’re sexy riding, I’ve got a big cruiser, and perhaps we could ride?!? I was in the greenish/gray Acura. You were in the carpool lane coming up on Venice blvd. Hope you see this,

You have a big what? What’s that you may or may not be implying? Creepy! I’m still a little uncertain how a girl riding a motorcycle with a helmet on in traffic can make enough eye contact to give anyone a feeling of connection. She may have looked at you to make sure you weren’t about to run her over. Fingers crossed for you.

Actual CL Ad #3:

No camping this labor day… – m4w:

So, I’m not going camping this time but I am going somewhere for Labor Day weekend- probably Seattle. I’d give anything for you to invite yourself on this one.

Huh? What and who the hell is he talking to? Is this a random shot in the dark to hook anyone or is this for someone specific? If the latter, not only do you not have the balls to ask this girl to go on a trip with you but you couldn’t even contact her to let her know you were going and give her a real opportunity to invite herself. I know without a doubt that you went on that trip, alone, and sulked the whole time that she didn’t magically appear. I mean how could she have missed this totally vague and random Craigslist ad that was not directed at her?!

Actual CL Ad #4:

Cute girl at The Home Depot in Glendale – m4w – 27 (Glendale)

Heyyy.. I saw you today at Home Depot in Glendale around 1-3pm. I did not have a much time to talk to you… but I took 1-2 pictures of you (sorry) I wish to see you again. Please, if you see this post e-mail me.

Wow, just fucking wow. If this guy had enough time to take 2 pictures of this girl, how is it that he did not have time to talk to her like a normal human being? Sorry stalker. I’m going out on a limb here again, when I say the ‘cute girl at Home Depot’ will never respond to this ad. Even when pigs fly and she does see her picture posted by some perv on Craigslist. Not a chance buddy.

The Missed Connections section of Craigslist is proof that some relationships are not meant to be. If you take pictures of unsuspecting females at Home Depot and then post ads on Craigslist hoping they see it and respond to you, then THANK GOD you did not make actual contact and somehow bamboozle yourself into this girl’s life. I do however appreciate the LULZ. Better luck next year.

I leave you with this. Second chances in our fast paced world are scarce. If you really want something in life, then do it fucking now and take it. Whether it’s going after that cute guy/girl that smiles at you every morning at Starbucks, or going after the promotion at work you’ve been waiting on these last two years. Don’t let opportunity pass you by. Successful people do not sit around waiting and posting ads on Craigslist relying on chance and dumb luck. Successful people identify opportunities and fucking grab them. The End.


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