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Better Late Than Never

3 Nov

Oops, somehow this got lost in our guest post submission folder… But oh well, better late than never. Use it as a guide of what not to do next year…

It’s that time of year again! Before you get creepy and crazy check these guidelines before gathering a costume. Don’t be a Red Flag on Halloween!

1. Obscure Costumes (What the FUCK are you supposed to be?)

This is number one for a reason people. If your costume requires more than a sentence to explain, you’re doing it wrong and chances are by the end of your rambling attempt to clarify, that person will be long gone and if they aren’t, shame on you for forcing them into having to pretend to be interested.

This is Halloween! Nobody wants to have to stop and put their thinking cap on during a night of care-free celebration in order to figure out what the fuck you’re supposed to be. I can understand this can be a little hard for those who are proudly going the slutty route, I mean, there’s not much to work with.

2. Couples Costumes Gone Wrong

Hey everyone, look at us! We have sex with each other! Congratulations! Now excuse me while I go throw up. Nothing wrong with coordinating your costume with your boo however please…don’t forcibly drill the image of you two doin the nasty into our heads with lame costumes like this.

3. Know Your Body First

I have three words of advice. Know your body. No matter how many wheat grass shots you’ve been taking or weekly pilates classes you’ve attended, mirrors are still meant to be taken seriously. If you got it, flaunt it. If you don’t…please for the love of God, don’t.

4. Anything Twilight Related
This has just gotten fucking weird.

5. Forgetting the Sexy


This is an awkward Red Flag to commit on Halloween. Trust me…librarians, nurses, secretaries and police officers are not really all that sexy in real life. If you’re going to dress up as a sexy nurse make sure its sexy enough so that people know their not about to be asked to donate blood.

6. Forgetting the Costume

This is just lazy. Perhaps even more awkward than forgetting the sexy, is forgetting the person/idea/thing you’re supposed to be dressed as. All that you are left with is just sexy, which on Halloween makes you look like the lone slut among people dressed like sluts. That’s not that impressive. I do give this girl credit for at least putting on angel wings…bravo.

7. Tasteless Costumes

We all know its coming. That one douchebag at every party that has to let everyone know how edgy and politically incorrect he is, but really just manages to make everyone hate him by the end of the night.

My advice, don’t be that guy. This year it was very easy to spot the Bin Laden, the Amy Winehouse, and the Casey Anthony costumes. These are the worst of all. That’s all I have for now. Good luck next year, and remember to have fun with it!

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