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Archive | February, 2011

Spotting The Red Flags In A New Relationship

12 Feb

So you finally decided to go exclusive?  It’s been such a magical journey so far. Well before you get too attached… absorb this info. You’re not quite ready for a serious relationship if the butterflies are still flying in your belly, so don’t let that tickle make the decisions for you. Here are some Red Flags to consider:

#1. If your mate farts in front of you and it’s only been a month or less… Red Flag. The rule is NO farting unless its been at least 4 to 6 months… if ever. I mean, unless that’s your thing, but that is another Red Flag all together. Personally, I’m not really down for ass music contests with my supposedly classy lady.

Top 5 RED FLAG Openers

10 Feb

Red flag openers… Oh boy. Ok, if you should ever hear these undeniable Red Flag opens, first fight off your gag reflex, and then feel free to wave that Red Flag, and maybe even run.  Here’s my Top 5… (and please comment and share your own below!)

#1. “You look like the bad one in the group”.

Well I know my friends, and I’m definitely the angel out of this bunch. If you see me as the bad one… Red Flag.

#2. “I wanna know your name, name, name, name….” (in singing voice, to the beat of that House song)

The How NOT to Party Guide… Red Flags in the Club!

10 Feb

Every week comes to an end, and when the weekend starts… the Red Flags come out! Best place to find them? Out and about, In the Club. I dont know about you, but my Friday nights, Saturday nights, even Sunday funDAYs/nights are filled with Red Flag adventures. Here’s a quick few Red Flag scenarios for you to digest…

#1. Taking your shirt off in the club. Raise your left hand if you’ve ever experienced this! I know I have.  Everyone is dancing… Everyone is having a great time… His favorite song comes on… aaand whoooosh his shirt vanishes like virginity on prom night. He begins singing, jumping, and twirling his shirt over his head. NOW its a PARTY!!! Right? Right??? WRONG. No ones wants to see this mess… Red Flag.

Welcome to FIDM… Population: RED FLAGS.

10 Feb

As with most Red Flags there are exceptions to the rule, but in most cases, if your new/current prospect plans to attend, is attending, or is an alumni of the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising… Red Flag!

If FIDM only knew the amount of Red Flags they’re pumping out, they would surely increase their acceptance criteria.  I haven’t been able to pinpoint the cause for this, but I certainly have found the student body that waves this flag proudly. Maybe after reading the facts of my story, someone out there can help me understand.

I LIKE them Freaky Thangs… But not TOO Freaky!

2 Feb

I’m just going to get straight to the point.

Girls that have known you for less than a month and are ready to get down and REALLY dirty, Red Flag!

If your current prospect even SUGGESTS that she wants to get crazy freaky with you (you know what I’m talking about!) you’ll need to Red Flag and proceed with caution.

Please, please, PLEAAASE do NOT get it twisted… You are NOT that special. Sorry! If she’s ready to go where the sun dont shine with you, she HAS done it before with other guys! And probably more than once (sad face).