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Top 10 Red Flags Of A Minor League Dater

24 May

The following guest post is by contributing writer and LA Singles Examiner columnist Niki Payne. Niki is a writer, speaker and advisor on dating and relationship topics for young men and women. She helps frustrated singles get over heartbreak and navigate the murky waters of dating with their heads still intact. To learn more about Niki, visit

It’s been five years since I first took a dive into the deep sea of online dating. I hated it. So much so that I started a silly little blog in 2008 called “Dating is a Payne” where I basically bitched and moaned about the dating game and verbally castrated all of my dates for their inadequacies. It wasn’t until two years later that I developed a personal dating system that allowed me to weed out all the losers by pointing out the Dating Red Flags of potential mates I now label as “Minor Leaguers”. As a result, I am a much happier dater with the improved quality of the fish in my current dating pool.

Creating Your Own Dating League

Everyone is part of a dating league. They may call their leagues by different names, but the idea is pretty much the same – categories. Categories help us understand evolution, civilization, human behavior and so much more. It is under this notion that I have developed the belief that anyone can create their own dating league if they want to improve the quality of their dates, mates or lays, and find more success in the dating game.

My theory follows that every player in the dating game has to start off somewhere, and they all start off in the Minor Leagues (until proven otherwise). It’s very similar to high school sports. Depending on how skilled you are, you usually start off on the Frosh/Soph or JV team before moving up to the Varsity team. Well, dating is very similar. First, you start off in the Minor Leagues, then you move up to the Major Leagues. If you’re really good at playing the game, then you can join the All-Star Leagues. And when you grow tired of the game or become injured, you become what I like to call a “Benchwarmer”. You know the game but you just don’t play because you either don’t want to or no longer have to.

Each of these respective dating types has certain Red Flags and Green Flags you will want to look out for when pursuing a romantic interest depending on your end game, which falls into one of two categories; meaningless sex or a meaningful relationship. If you’re looking for meaningless sex, you’ll most likely want to play in the Minors where the fish are plenty. But if it’s a meaningful relationship that you seek, then you’ll actually want to avoid this dating type and move on to bigger fish in the sea.

The 10 Red Flags That He Is In The Minor Leagues

I once knew a guy from Louisiana named Chris and learned that he was a member of a fraternity with a bad reputation for being mischievous. Red Flag #1He’s a frat boy.

The first time I met Chris was at a house party he invited me to in Long Beach where I saw two familiar faces. One of a guy I had a one-night stand with (awkward) and another of a guy who was in the same fraternity as my late college sweetheart. Yes, I’m a sorority girl. A Red Flag for some; a green light for others. I knew I was there to meet Chris but it was a nice blast from the past to reminisce the life of my college sweetheart with a mutual friend, and I found myself instantly chatting with him to catch up.

Meanwhile, Chris was telling my best friend how much of a whore I was because he thought I took off to hook up with my friend. Red Flag #2He jumps to conclusions without knowing the full story. An obvious Red Flag that he is insecure.

After chatting with my old friend for a while, I told him I was there to meet someone and that I was probably being rude. We hugged, and I went to go find frat boy Chris.

When I found Chris, I apologized for being rude and gave him the back story. Later that night, he told my best friend he felt bad for calling me a whore. We hung out for a couple of hours before my friends and I decided it was getting late. I gave Chris a good bye hug and told him it was nice to meet him, but he made it obvious he wanted more than a hug. “You come here to meet me late at night… what am I supposed to think?”

He kind of had a point. However, despite the fact that I arrived to the party well after 10 p.m. (the universal start time for late night booty calls), I did show up with two other girls. My thoughts were, what was he thinking, a ménage à trois? Red Flag #3He has false expectations and has to guilt trip you into kissing him.

The next time I saw Chris a week later, he invited me to his house to watch a movie. When I showed up, he answered the door in his pajamas. Red Flag #4He doesn’t make himself presentable when expecting female guests.

When we watched the movie, he kept trying to hook up with me. I resisted, but lucky for him it had been a while for me, and I happen to be a sucker for green eyes so I caved. Red Flag for me, but oh well. I was greatly disappointed. Red Flag #5Can’t find the G-spot. So sorry I don’t come with a fucking map! X marks the G-spot? (READ THE REST)

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7 Responses to “Top 10 Red Flags Of A Minor League Dater”

  1. KivKuu 05/25/2011 at 7:37 AM #

    lol, ok thats pretty funny stuff dude.

  2. Jen 05/25/2011 at 8:50 AM #

    So True! I have met alot of these losers in my life… Ugh.

  3. Melody 05/25/2011 at 9:56 AM #

    Have to weed thru all the losers before finding the right one. Or in this case, the Major League Player! :)

  4. Alec 06/24/2011 at 8:39 AM #

    Book marked, I enjoy your blog! :)

  5. Wesc 07/08/2011 at 5:25 AM #

    I truly knew about a lot of this, but never the less, I still considered it had been practical. Very good work!

  6. 07/23/2011 at 8:07 AM #

    /\/\/\ – I agree with the comment written above :)

  7. Pamala 07/24/2011 at 4:54 AM #

    hello there, perfect wordpress blog!

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